STAY ON TARGET

Hi, how are you?

I have a ten-month-old daughter, who frequently requires clothes. And because this is America, there is a Target nearby. And because this is America, there is a Wal-Mart near the Target. And because we won't go to the Wal-Mart, we frequently find ourselves in Target. Sometimes I wear a White Stripes t-shirt to see how long it takes for another customer to ask for help.

Target sells clothes for little girls. This is because Target sells just about everything.

So, when we frequently find ourselves in Target, I frequently find myself in the little girl section, looking at little girl clothes. I am an adult and I love my daughter and I am comfortable with this. I like to get her cute little outfits so that she will look little and cute and be embarrassed by the pictures we take of her in them once she becomes a teenager.

There are many cute little outfits for little girls at Target. Many of them have dinosaurs on them, which I like because it encourages science and I can't wait to hear about her getting in to fights with creationist kids at daycare.

So, sometimes when I end up at Target by myself, and my wife and daughter are elsewhere, I look for little girl clothes in the little girl department. I am thirty-one years old and am frequently scruffy-looking because I'm too lazy to shave and because Jamee says she likes it. I frequently wear Aloha shirts that I'm too lazy to iron. And ratty Chuck Taylors, which I don't iron because it's difficult. I usually see other parents, usually mothers, with their kids when I'm in the little girls department. And I know they see me.

And I bet they think I'm a child molester.